Embracing the Fear of a Flourishing Writing Life

It was my first (adult) failure as a writer.

I started Beth Kempton’s free Winter Writing Sanctuary course and quit after the first day.

But it was a failure that would change the trajectory of my writing life.

Winter 2022: My dad had died the year before and I was swimming slowly out of the sea of grief that accompanies sudden death. I knew something had to change so I could find a way to live a fuller, happier life, but I had no idea what that change could be.

I’ve never loved the traditional concept of “work”. Other than a short stint as a social worker, “work” is what I did to pay the rent, and nothing more.

During my time as a social worker, there was a sense of purpose. I was helping people; it was satisfying as far as “work” went, but utterly exhausting. The burnout rate for people working in social care is devastating, with around 91% of the profession stating in a recent study that they experience moderate to high levels of stress and exhaustion.

Despite all the different jobs I tried, here’s the truth: I’ve always been a writer. I’ve always had this creative energy swirling within me that I felt compelled to put into words, but I could never quite allow myself to embrace it or do so publicly. Writing was something other people did. What gives me the right to assume my words matter, I’d ask myself whenever the idea of being a proper writer popped into my mind.

And then one day during that cold, sad winter, I stumbled across Beth Kempton’s free Winter Writing Sanctuary. It called to me in that way of not really knowing why, but feeling somewhere deep in your bones that this was the right thing to do.

I signed up and excitedly awaited the first lesson.

When it landed in my inbox, I joined in, but felt blocked from really getting involved in the content. The course and mindset resonated with me, and I loved the format and style, but something didn’t feel right once I’d gotten past the signing up bit. There was a low expectation to engage with a Facebook group, but I was starting to withdraw from social media at that time and didn’t want to use it at all, let alone for an unknown writing group with a bunch of strangers.

I decided it wasn’t the right time for me to be doing this course. Instead, I bought Beth’s book, The Way of the Fearless Writer, and during the hour or so a day I’d set aside to complete the course, I read her book instead.

This felt right, and I devoured it like water on a hot day. I loved how Beth wrote in the book, and nodded along to everything I read; the similarities in the inner life of a writer; listening to the part of me that knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I needed to be a writer in a more permanent way.

As I worked through the steps in the book, which mirror some of the course content I’d abandoned, I emerged from my cocoon and burst into the world the following year, ready to call myself a writer for the very first time.

That was two years ago.

The first year after reading Beth’s book, I was working full time in a sales job, based at home but still clocking in at 9am and out at 6pm, expending all my energy working for someone else’s needs and bank balance.

So, in the evenings and at weekends, when I had spare time and some crumbs of creative energy left after a long week, I started to build a side hustle. I wrote websites for friends and learned the craft of copywriting (writing for the purpose of selling a product or service).

Eventually, I quit my day job and took my freelance copywriting services full-time.

That was a year ago, and oh my how things have changed!

My copywriting business went live early in 2024, and I gave it everything I had. I wrote more websites and emails and sales stuff, I learned how to do it well and I helped people with similar values to myself. But I didn’t love it. Not really.

I wanted to write, and I was writing, more than ever.

But once again, my energy was spent realising other people’s dreams. I was supporting them to bring their creative visions to life, helping choose words to describe what they did for their customers. I loved facilitating that moment of finally finding the perfect sentence to describe how they helped people. My word-wrangling has always been a skill, but I never knew it until other people told me so. You always assume everyone can do the stuff you can do, until someone tells you they can’t.

Spending my days with words was a dream come true, but I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be with it. With the principles of Beth Kempton’s Fearless Writer always close to my heart, I began exploring which elements of writing and business were making me happy, and dropping anything that wasn’t.

Beth describes three states of writing, and this differentiation really helped me understand what my writing was and how I could use it.

My daily journaling and writing to understand things was gaseous-state writing, not meant to be shared with anyone, and a way of getting thoughts out of my head and into some semblance of order so I could understand my own brain.

Then there was liquid-state writing, the stuff I write with a purpose. First drafts of stories for Medium, for example, like the one you’re reading right now. It could also be a newsletter, some website copy, or an article.

And finally, solid-state writing, also known as editing. The process of taking the liquid words I’ve spilled onto a page and polishing them up to the best possible finish. These are the words that see the light of day. The words I share with people.

As I enter 2025, after doing Bindi Shah’s Word for the Year meditation, I’m considering what I want for my writing life. I’ve decided to choose a word each month, roll with it, and see where it leads. This might be a word you could use as a prompt to write something for Really Honest Business on Medium, if that’s of interest to you (read our Submission Guidelines).

I’m going to use each word as an anchor point for my writing in 2025, alongside my overarching word for the whole year which is FLOURISH. I chose this word because it helps me remember that with the right environment and conditions, I can flourish, like a flower or shrub planted in the right place and given the right care.

My word for January is FEARLESS.

Because, thanks to Beth Kempton, plus a bunch of amazing people I’ve met in the last two years, I’m finally living a fearless writing life.

I share my words with reckless abandon. I put them into the world and let the vultures tear them apart. And I don’t let the fear of that happening stop me.

Some people say wonderful things about stuff I’ve written online. And some people say not-so-wonderful things, slamming me for the words I share. I’m open to a challenge, and if someone reading my work wants to query something I’ve said or suggest an alternative perspective, I’m here for it. What I won’t accept is hatred; towards me, towards groups of people, towards human beings at all.

Hate has no place in my writing life.

I accept that as an artist who shares their soul online, I’m going to get some trolls. I’m going to keep writing anyway. I’m going to be FEARLESS.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway is the only way to be creative, in my opinion. If I stop feeling scared, then I’m not being true to myself. And if I stop sharing my work, I’m back in the closet.

And what of Beth Kempton’s Winter Writing Sanctuary?

I signed up again for 2024, and I’m loving every minute of it. The Facebook group has gone and with it the expectation to share or discuss the work with anyone else. There is a community element of the free course, but I’ve chosen to leave that bit at the door this time. Maybe next year.

This is a time for quietly writing for myself, and Beth’s free course is helping me do just that. I wasn’t ready for it two years ago, but I embraced my inner fearless writer, and I’m ready now.

Thanks for reading, connect with me here.

This story was originally published on Medium and is cross-posted here for a wider audience. View the original post here.